Relationship, what a drama it can be. But holding on to some necessary tips and positive vibe goes a long way to make your relationships a happy one. Don’t be too expectant and overly good.
Find below the things you are doing wrong in your relationships, you mistake as good
1. Seeking “balance” by keeping score
It doesn’t really sound well to the ear when you want your partner to call you five times because you have called five times. How free, fun-loving, and happy will you be if you are putting everything to book and checking everything.
Tit for tat may seem you want fair treatment but contrary to that, what if your partner even planned to do more.
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The “I’ll wash the clothes if you mob the floor” and “I’ll sweep the room if you clean the dishes” comments do not add any value to your relationship.
Rather try a more subtle and matured approach to get genuine help when you need it and help out when needed.
2. Calling your partner your “everything”
Surely, people say these things and end up married in harmony happily ever after and all, but come think of it, how? In what terms is your partner your everything?
When you make your partner your “everything,” you are saying that everything else, yourself included is nothing. In other words, you may turn to depend on your partner for things you should take care of yourself.
Also, let your partner know that you are fine without them, they are a part of your life to help surely, but being overly dependent and clingy is not cool.
The rest of your life surely means a lot without them in the picture. Place value on yourself.
3. Constant communication
Communication is needed in every relationship, as its excellent, its a pillar in a relationship.
Constant communication, may not be too good.
Reason being that when you two are on phone every day every time the level of emotional dependence increases. Like, say you call each other about 7 to 10 times a day just to talk.
Emotional self-sufficiency goes a long way to help individuals in a relationship. You shouldn’t be relying on your partner for company or reassurance any time you have a thought or eat something.
When you keep at it, the moment your partner is absent shortly, you may yearn for that and probably may look for a replacement. This goes a long way to cause you to cheat in their absence.
4. Thinking all of your emotions are valid
There is a need to manage and control some emotions you feel. Surely we are all allowed to feel how we want to feel, but that doesn’t mean it should be acknowledged by all.
Just as we don’t always voice out every thought in mind, the same way some emotions are better controlled
Growing up and being matured in a relationship includes handling and examining your emotions.
A typical instance;
You start a quarrel based on assumptions, without clarity.
Just because your partner is absent briefly, the moment you feel the urge for intimacy, you walk out and find the next available person. Just because you feel entitled to it.
There are so many ways to deal with emotions and this includes growing up.
5. Trying to please each other
If your relationship is not focused on being the best version of yourself, but rather doing everything to please your partner, then come again.
You embracing who you are eventually invites admiration greater than the one you have for yourself.
Don’t go borrow money and rent that expensive vehicle you can’t afford because you don’t want them to leave. Don’t buy that expensive jewelry and put on only to get home and starve.
Sweetheart, its a relationship with love, not a marathon.
6. Fairy-tales
We have these movies, soap operas and cartoons which try to lie to us that every part of our journey has to be amazing, a glow, basically a fairy tale.
Don’t try to buy your way into love.
Vacations, Status Symbols, Romantic Gestures, Public Displays of affection, etc, etc. are very good as they boost intimacy, but you need to face the real world. Save money, plan for the future, etc. Schedule these things, don’t do them or expect them all the time.
Wake up from the fiction and face reality
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